Crosspost from BustTheFilibuster.com Washington D.C.–President Barack Obama, frustrated by lack of discipline and cooperation from key lawmakers, called in an expert. With his healthcare and other reforms in jeopardy from filibusters aided and abetted by conservative "Blue Dog" Democrats, the President is turning to Caesar "the Dog Whisperer" Millan for help.
According to Millan’s website, he is "a world-renowned dog behavior specialist, known for his uncanny ability to walk large packs of dogs at a time. Not only that but, from poodles to pit bulls, these now well-behaved canines have each been rehabilitated, rescued from a wide range of extreme behavior issues–anything from insecurity to severe ‘red zone’ aggression!"
The Administration is relying on him to take control of the "blue zone" in Congress.
"I met with Caesar, and told him about the problems I’m having in Congress with undisciplined Democrats," the President told reporters. "I’ve seen him do incredible things on his TV show," the he added, "I’m at wit’s end here. If this doesn’t work, I may have to drag a garden hose into the Capitol Building."
The President’s spokeswoman Wendy Henderson credited Millan’s techniques for Sen. Joseph Lieberman’s marked improvement. "He stopped whining when we’ve left him alone for more than a few minutes, and he hasn’t soiled the carpet in days," said Henderson. At deadline, Millan was training Senators Evan Bayh (D) Indiana and Mark Pryor (D) Arkansas to stop jumping on other lawmakers. He could not be reached for comment.